Tuesday, October 21, 2008


i purchased my steel horse today. its name is Sleipnir after odin's eightlegged horse.
Sleipnir means smooth or gliding and is the source of the english word slippery. son of Svadilfari the stallion used by a fire giant in an attempt to trick the gods and steal the moon and their most beautiful goddess, Freya, and mischief making god, Loki,("prevent this giant from besting us or we will torture you eternally" warned Odin) in the form of a pure white mare. half god half divine giant horse.
if you just go to a yamaha dealership buy a bike and then nod and say "hao" alot when they take you around to police and officials it is easy enough to get motorcycle registration and license in china despite the fact that according to chinese law foreigners are not allowed to ride motorcycles. my i-ching is entirely receptive. i was told to be the mare travelling without bound spreading kindness and charity. waking up in mist filled mountains. temples to confucius surrounded by stone animals a patio for dancing with a sword. i thought i was in a quite hamlet only to find a bustling city below. the ferry man was not happy with me returning so late last night and leaving so early this morning. "shi kuai. ni keyi" yes i can pay you one dollar to ferry me across the water. other streams i have seen seemed so dirty no filter strong enough to convince me to touch that water to my body, much less drink it. this was a place to swim and play as boats chugged past. again their trace appears in bold vibrant colors. always they hide from me until i plan to leave. showing their colors only at the end as if to alert me to how many mysteries i leave unsolved each time i pack my bag and go. as if i did not already know this. as if each step out the door was not hard enough already. so much already left behind but still every time i step to that road it seems just as hard. maybe even harder. the first step, although the largest, now seems as if it was the easiest. yet still it is the only one that haunts me. it must be because it is the one i know i will return to and thus will have to face how it has changed while i have gone. it is the only one for which i have a clear picture now and don't know if i will be able to help myself but expect to see it again. i know it is gone already but i also know i will not be able to accept this. i know that when the time comes the shock will inevitably hit me. a feeling of sinking and loss or the uplifting joy of a new horizon, i don't know what to expect. the coins gave me hope on this day i was going to leave to run. "the mare is akin to the earth, traveling the earth without bound, gentle and docile, helpful and faithful. Cultured people are going somewhere; earlier they got lost and strayed from the way later they followed and attained the eternal." everything seems so right. lost i truly was, only hoping that i may bring myself around to find the way. it may be foolish but the coins have given me hope. they always seem to say the words that fit. not just my thoughts painted over them, but words that cannot be ignored. horses and travelling. lost before only full of dreams to find the way. i feel now more confident than before that it may be more than a fools fancy. dancing immortally. i told you all, all that i loved that i will either die here or will have found a way to live forever. me mounting sleipner and heading off i believe is the time when the true test will begin. the same words have come from the mouths off all i have met. "ni dei hen xiaoxi, zhege difang hen anquan, ni chuqu bu shi." you must be very careful it is safe here, but when you go it will not be. my shifu called me crazy, my friends worreid about me before i left and now don't know what to do other than hope and pray i find some way to make it through. i have faith, or rather i have no fear. already driving in china has taught me one thing there are absolutely no rules or rhyme to what people can or will do. i much prefer this method once i came to understand that i need obey no law other than do whatever you must to get where you need to go without dying. wits and reflexes, every breath must go into the feet or it will be your last. i will ride sleipnir i will be carried by the divine mare safely through my journeys. like odin, sword on back upon the 8 legged horse. like cloud, sword and motorcycle travelling a loner. like lu bingdu sword to dispel ignorance astride a black tiger. all these characters one in the same. different faces, differnt names, same spirit. all of them i see a beings worth having as a teacher. as Mr. Woo taught me in china to be a student you emulate the actions of your teacher. then do you come to know first through doing then through understanding why you do. so run i will. sword on back to fight giants and keep the gods in line, to fight for loved ones lost and protect the world from those who may harm it, to chase enlightenment and follow the dao dispersing evil and dispelling ignorance. like lu paint in hand spreading poems and coming to know the others who do the same.

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